A new nanny, it is going to upset him?
Finding a nanny with whom it sticks is not easy. Duty to change, it complicates everything … especially for your toddler!
With her nanny, it was great; everything went well! Only that, whatever the reason, you must change. Preparation and accompaniment are necessary to help your toddler maintain his emotional balance. His nanny is important to him!
The change of nanny, he does not like too much!
- At this age, your child needs stable landmarks that give him emotional security. Changing nannies often represents the first experience of “final” separation. Explain to him that if the nanny leaves him … you, on the other hand, will never leave him.
- By changing nanny, he may feel a sense of abandonment. Your child may be sad, sulky, sleeping or eating less, no longer want to play. Do not panic; these are usually passing reactions. Tell her that her nanny does not reject her and that even if two people separate, it does not stop them from thinking one to the other.
With this experience, your toddler also becomes aware of the difference. The nanny only fills your absence and does not replace you: you are her main attachment. Your child will learn to adapt to his new situation.
What transition for nanny change?
When the change of nanny happens in right conditions, the development is carried out smoothly. While keeping a link with the old, your toddler will re-adapt to the new.
- Proceed gradually. Announce that he will change nanny only two to three weeks before. As soon as you have found the substitute, offer to visit her. If your child is kept at home, the transition is easier.
- S tack him by showing him that you understand his emotions. Say, “I know that you are sad, that you would like to stay with her, but it is not possible. The more you will adhere to what he feels, the more he will feel understood, and the sooner he will mourn.
- Maintain ties with the former nanny. A small visit, sending a gift or a postcard will create a reassuring impression of continuity.
- Arrange for one or two weeks depending on your child’s reactions. Consider entrusting the new person with certain habits of the previous nanny and ask them, at least initially, to do the same. If a new relationship of trust is established between you and her, your child will feel all the more secure.
Departure due to conflict: what to do?
Had you to part with the nanny overnight? The event is brutal for your child. He may feel a sense of guilt without expressing it. It is up to you to help!
- Reassure him. Explain that he is not involved in this disagreement. Add that you are going to find someone else to take care of him.
- Explain to her that you no longer agree with her nanny without getting into the details. It will also be an opportunity to express your own emotion, your possible guilt felt in the face of your child’s sadness.
- Do not say harm to the nanny. Value her positive aspects: “She took care of you, she taught you many things” so that he does not live the situation as a failure and that he continues to trust other people than their parents.
- Accompany this separation by finding the words so that he does not live it as a drama; it will probably lead him to adapt more quickly to changes in his future life.
Waiting for the new nanny
You separated from the person who had your child, but has not yet found or made your new choice?
- To avoid destabilizing your baby, even more, prevent interim situations. As far as possible, in the meantime, entrust your child to relatives, an aunt, another mother you know, friends, even if you send him to his grandparents for a few days.
Change of nanny: when it stuck
He cries as soon as he sees her
No hasty conclusion: this does not mean that he hates his new maternal assistant and that he preferred the old one! A toddler does not like the novelty. It is normal that he react and be a little worried. He needs time to get acquainted with this person, his voice, his way of looking at him. Changing nannies is not necessarily negative! It is an opportunity for him to establish a relationship with a new adult, to test his adaptability.
What has to be done. Give the new person as much information as possible about your child’s habits. The more it will be in phase with what it expects, the better it will adopt it! What to tell him. “I am going to tell Anne what you like to do to take care of you. ”
It does not get used to
Adapting to novelty can take time. However, if, after two months, your child still shows no impetus towards his nanny, he does not seem happy to go to her, it is clear that the current is hard to establish. She may be too brusque when she is very sensitive. She may not care enough for him, and he feels abandoned.
What has to be done. These are not negotiable details, but real, substantive concerns. Find another mode of care without delay. Especially if your child changes his behavior at home: if he sleeps badly, eats poorly, is grumpy. This indicates a deep discomfort that you can not let settle down.
What to tell him.
“We are going to get someone else to take care of you because with this nanny; you are not well. ”
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