Educating your child by adapting to what he or she is …
As parents, you have a real knowledge of your child, and you are the most qualified to help him grow. Observe your tip, be attentive to his reactions, respect what he is: he will become a real person in his skin. Our keys for it to work.
Education is tailor-made!
“Our two princesses, Adele and Leonie, have characters so different that their father and I had to adapt. Even though our educational values did not change, with the eldest, our model girl rather calm and docile, everything went smoothly. While with Léonie, our chip, rather rebellious and angry, we had to learn to negotiate and manage the “no” repeatedly without letting go! “Mélissa and Thibault are like all parents, anxious to give the best possible education to their children while ensuring their personal fulfillment. As the psychoanalyst, Dina Karoubi-Pecan emphasizes: “To educate, It is to transmit the fundamental rules of respect for others and oneself by knowing how to adapt the prohibitions and the universal law to the particularity of each child. The message is the same, but the way we say it takes into account the little person we have in front of us.
Prioritization of priorities
It is like when we travel abroad, we say hello to people because we are polite, but in the language of the country if we want to make ourselves understood. The best way to know how a toddler works are to watch his reactions when he is told what is expected of him. According to the psychologist: “It is not necessary to read a thesis on education or to follow educational models to the letter, the daily observation of a child with whom one lives makes it possible to know and accompany him. “Of course, the rules fit in over the months, and a toddler can not be” perfect “all along the line. Parents must prioritize their priorities and not be too demanding because education is not about dressage, But an excellent mixture of constraints and listening. When they ask questions, the children expect clear answers. Everyone has his way of learning: some need to be shown how to do things, others want to do everything on his or her own; Some are groping, while others are waiting to master themselves to get started.
Accept it as it is
Just as a child ‘s physique is unique, his psyche, sensitivity, and emotions are just as much, and for him to be happy, he needs his parents to accept him as he is. As the psychoanalyst explains: “Two people, who make a child will give birth to a third person, from both but singular. The child is not a copy of his parents; he can not be such that they want him to be ideally. The child is a subject; he is himself! ” Respecting his relational style, character, temperament is the key to successful education. A character is a set of peculiarities, tastes, attitudes, which are habitual and that the entourage locates. Warning, A character it can move! Lise, for example, saw Mathéo transform in a few months: “Matheo was very shy. At the kindergarten, the teacher told us how difficult it was to make friends, to participate … On the advice of a friend, she was enrolled in a theater class and changed. Little by little, he came out of his shell! That is why it’ s so important not to label them definitively.
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Do not compare it to others
Each child has skills, strengths, and weaknesses, an attraction for a particular school subject, a strong taste for physical activities. It is useless and hurtful to compare it with the others. We were all annoyed by the phrases of the genre: “Look at your brother, he is there, and he is smaller than you! Every child develops at his or her pace. To judge the development of a child, specialists have established averages which define a norm, an ideal development, but never a particular one. Finding that your child is just below or above the curves does not mean that he is late or that he is a genius. The average ages of acquisitions, highlighted by developmental psychologists and pediatricians, are real indicators, But not absolute. This does not mean that the benchmarks of the child’s healthy development are useless. If a child does not eat alone at the age of 5, it is because there is a problem. In the same way that one no longer wipes the buttocks of a child of 3 years, if one wants to be respectful of his physical intimacy!
As we can see, educating a child requires an ability to challenge oneself, adapt to change, find the best way to be understood by him, listen to him, encourage him, support him, protect him, To propose to him the learning essential to his future life of adult well in his skin. That is the wealth of the job of parents!
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