2 years: the age of “no! “
Towards the two years of your Baby, you will have to go through the period of “no!”. So far, he was crying to show his displeasure; he can now make himself understood through language. The age of no is the possibility for the child to assert himself. … This can start around 18 or 24 months and last until the child’s three years.
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He is opposed to asserting himself
It is usually around 2 years that the child discovers the power of the “no.” For a few months, he uses this little word, which allows him, for the first time, to express desires different from those of adults. His first “no” take his parents off guard, as they are used to choosing and deciding for him. This opposition is the sign of a new maturity that will allow the child to leave the status of the baby. This period corresponds to the birth of your child’s identity. Henceforth, it is called, claims its place and thus differentiates itself from the adult. These attempts to impose one’s personal choices are the first step towards autonomy and a very healthy way to build one’s personality.
He needs limits
His “no” are stated indiscriminately: it is his way of taking power and testing its extent. It is more than ever necessary for the adult to set clear limits and enforce the law. Indeed, if no one stands up to him, the child finds himself left to himself, a prey to a feeling of omnipotence, perhaps exhilarating, but very distressing. Respect his disagreement. On the other hand, ignoring her desire to participate in decisions and give her opinion would be to deny her very existence. You must respect his right as a person to express his disagreement and to take initiatives, even if, on the substance, you do not give way. He is still very dependent on you and needs to be guided, with gentleness and firmness.
Bypass the obstacle
Opposing frontally to his constant refusals would lead you to an exhausting and damaging showdown for you and him. He does not want to put on that coat? Turn it into a game: “Here, the little sleeve is looking for a small hand, here, little hand! Where are your little fingers? “. You will learn little by little the little tricks that work with your child and that allow you to defuse the conflict without your little stubborn feeling lose face.
Limit your refusals
Also know that the more you say “yes,” the less he will say “no.” Thus, reserve your flat denials to the most important rules and try to give it more latitude on small choices without consequences (the color of the sweater, for example). He will be very proud that you ask him for his opinion on the details, and will be more inclined to rely on you for the most part.
Adopt the ‘5’ 3 ‘1’ rule.
Remember that your child lives in immediacy, and in a universe where the imaginary holds a greater place than the constraints of the real. He refuses to leave the house or the square? Normal, it is in full play! Needless to try to make him listen to reason by reminding him that you have the shopping to do or dinner to prepare. Better to anticipate: five minutes before the time of departure, you warn him, and you show him your five fingers which correspond to the minutes that remain to him to play. Two minutes later, you announce three minutes: three minutes, three fingers, and so on. Finally, it is time: we leave without discussing. Once set up, this little ritual will help him to obey at the right time without feeling cheated.
Above all, when he follows you with a good grace, when he gives you a “yes,” value him, ostensibly admire this great boy so reasonable. It is up to you to show him what he wins: a serene and smiling mother, and why not, a small reward. “Since you were so kind, I offer you a good snack at the bakery! The choice is yours ! “. This is a good way to make your child understand that he can assert himself without systematically opposing you.
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